Can I just say how January 15, 2010 I said "everything you say gives me butterflies" and almost 10 months later I still get butterflies right before I see him.
In a month, we'll be spending our first night together in Montreal for my birthday.
Happy doesn't even cover how I feel.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Maybe if I wasn't such a jealous person it wouldn't bother me so much. But it's not even just that, I've always strongly believed in "it's not where you are but who you're with" so I guess I'm just insulted. I don't like being close to people knowing they won't be around in the future. it seems pointless.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Not to be a bitch, seriously, I've been avoiding saying this so no drama is caused from it. But I'm sick of hearing about Europe, I don't think I ever want to go anymore because of how much I hear and see stuff about it from either facebook/tumblr/twitter. I get this country makes you sick and you want to leave, but spare me, please. I'm quite content being an ignorant American.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
It's cute how my boyfriend cares if I have a social life outside of him. he doesn't want me to be alone and he doesn't want him to be my entire life.
I tell myself I don't care and I think for the most part I've got myself fooled, but tonight I'm getting kind of lonely.
He's off in Beacon with friends and I want to see him but he needs friend time and I get nervous that if I see him too much he'll get sick of me (he says he won't but i think he will)
And when it comes to me and friends, well it feels like I only have Alex lately. And part of me doesn't mind that, Alex has the more dominant personality which suits my more passive personality. And if I hangout with anyone else, she's usually there too.
I use to hangout with just Jackie sometimes but she's always working or with Travis, and when she's not working she never tells me, she hits up everyone else on facebook besides me. Yes I know phones and shit work two ways, but that's not the point. And then there's Jesse but I feel like we both have that passive personality that if we hung out just us it'd be weird (no offense jess, it's not you, it's me) Same with like Amanda or Erica or anyone else really in the circle of friends. I do have Stephanie and Nicole but they're all the way up in Kingston.
I'm starting to miss in high school when I had some many friends and people wanting to hangout with me but I never had enough time. That's the only thing I miss about that place. Friends drop like flies after you leave, which can be good and bad.
PArt of me would like to hit up Sean or Andy and see if they want to hangout but it wouldn't be the same, I've changed too much and so have they. Andy would wanna throw fives and they'd talk about the "sketchy" kids the entire time who I don't really care for. That's pretty much what happened the last time I hung out with them. There's also Laura Sarnicola but I feel like with that friendship now I have to put in too much effort and I just don't want to, though I do want to get sushi with her soon... but I'm always broke.
I'd say I need friends but that takes too much effort that I don't feel like giving.
There's a part of me that likes only having Mikey and Alex (and Darius though he's 12 hours away) in my life
But it scares me thinking how Alex is going to be leaving soon for a month, and Mikey I think is leaving for a few days then too.
And then I won't have a life and I'll work and then sit up in my room being miserable.
I tell myself I don't care and I think for the most part I've got myself fooled, but tonight I'm getting kind of lonely.
He's off in Beacon with friends and I want to see him but he needs friend time and I get nervous that if I see him too much he'll get sick of me (he says he won't but i think he will)
And when it comes to me and friends, well it feels like I only have Alex lately. And part of me doesn't mind that, Alex has the more dominant personality which suits my more passive personality. And if I hangout with anyone else, she's usually there too.
I use to hangout with just Jackie sometimes but she's always working or with Travis, and when she's not working she never tells me, she hits up everyone else on facebook besides me. Yes I know phones and shit work two ways, but that's not the point. And then there's Jesse but I feel like we both have that passive personality that if we hung out just us it'd be weird (no offense jess, it's not you, it's me) Same with like Amanda or Erica or anyone else really in the circle of friends. I do have Stephanie and Nicole but they're all the way up in Kingston.
I'm starting to miss in high school when I had some many friends and people wanting to hangout with me but I never had enough time. That's the only thing I miss about that place. Friends drop like flies after you leave, which can be good and bad.
PArt of me would like to hit up Sean or Andy and see if they want to hangout but it wouldn't be the same, I've changed too much and so have they. Andy would wanna throw fives and they'd talk about the "sketchy" kids the entire time who I don't really care for. That's pretty much what happened the last time I hung out with them. There's also Laura Sarnicola but I feel like with that friendship now I have to put in too much effort and I just don't want to, though I do want to get sushi with her soon... but I'm always broke.
I'd say I need friends but that takes too much effort that I don't feel like giving.
There's a part of me that likes only having Mikey and Alex (and Darius though he's 12 hours away) in my life
But it scares me thinking how Alex is going to be leaving soon for a month, and Mikey I think is leaving for a few days then too.
And then I won't have a life and I'll work and then sit up in my room being miserable.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
remember me?
hey blogspot, long time no see
tumblr's coo,l but when i need to rant and i mean really rant (not like the kevin kelly rant) i come back to you
sooo that tumble, "Girl has best friends, then girl gets boyfriend, then girl becomes friends with the boys friends and rarely brings their own best friends around their boyfriends group. This is just what happens. Till eventually they rarely see their own friends."
I don't even care if this was directed at me or not, i'm going to say my side of the story anyway
I'm still very much in the phase where I just want to be alone with him, not just for sex but just to be alone and cuddle and kiss and be cute or whatever. We're pretty much never alone, and if we are it's brief. He knows this bothers me (not a lot but it's still annoying) and i've learned to adjust. When it's his friends and me and him in his room, it's pretty much like being alone for us, we still cuddle and kiss (not make out because that'd be rude). His house is like the hangout spot for his group of friends so they're usually there. Then there's also Jack and Rosie's situation (which I won't go into because it's not my place to say anything) and they're usually over the weekends they sleepover Mikey's... so it's rare when none of his friends are over.
When I see Mikey it's usually me going to Poughquag to hangout at his house where we really don't do much, besides maybe smoke. The way his group of friends is too is kind of like ours, lots of inside jokes but unlike us, not very into welcoming new-commers. except girls that one of them is trying to get with, for the most part. Me and Rosie are the only girls.
What I'm getting at is that bringing around my friends would be weird, you'd probably sit in Mikey's room and be bored to death and the we'd leave.
There are the times we go to Bowdoin, and Adam's and come summer lots more places and then maybe then I will invite you guys... but even on st. patty's day at bowdoin, did you guys have fun? we just sat there and you guys didn't talk much.
but then there's also the fact that i love you guys, but sometimes i just need an escape. i don't consider mikey's friends my friends.. at least not yet really. but i like the fact that their group is so far from ours. i'm not even sure how to explain this. it's a possessive kind of thing. Kind of like how a part of me doesn't want alex to driving, driving's my thing... and like what happened with sex, (i've never said this before) all the talk about sex irritates me and ruins sex for me in a way. i liked being the only one who had done it, it was like my own little secret in a sense.
I'm trying my best to keep the balance of seeing best friends and boyfriend. with work tied in there it's hard, give me a break.
tumblr's coo,l but when i need to rant and i mean really rant (not like the kevin kelly rant) i come back to you
sooo that tumble, "Girl has best friends, then girl gets boyfriend, then girl becomes friends with the boys friends and rarely brings their own best friends around their boyfriends group. This is just what happens. Till eventually they rarely see their own friends."
I don't even care if this was directed at me or not, i'm going to say my side of the story anyway
I'm still very much in the phase where I just want to be alone with him, not just for sex but just to be alone and cuddle and kiss and be cute or whatever. We're pretty much never alone, and if we are it's brief. He knows this bothers me (not a lot but it's still annoying) and i've learned to adjust. When it's his friends and me and him in his room, it's pretty much like being alone for us, we still cuddle and kiss (not make out because that'd be rude). His house is like the hangout spot for his group of friends so they're usually there. Then there's also Jack and Rosie's situation (which I won't go into because it's not my place to say anything) and they're usually over the weekends they sleepover Mikey's... so it's rare when none of his friends are over.
When I see Mikey it's usually me going to Poughquag to hangout at his house where we really don't do much, besides maybe smoke. The way his group of friends is too is kind of like ours, lots of inside jokes but unlike us, not very into welcoming new-commers. except girls that one of them is trying to get with, for the most part. Me and Rosie are the only girls.
What I'm getting at is that bringing around my friends would be weird, you'd probably sit in Mikey's room and be bored to death and the we'd leave.
There are the times we go to Bowdoin, and Adam's and come summer lots more places and then maybe then I will invite you guys... but even on st. patty's day at bowdoin, did you guys have fun? we just sat there and you guys didn't talk much.
but then there's also the fact that i love you guys, but sometimes i just need an escape. i don't consider mikey's friends my friends.. at least not yet really. but i like the fact that their group is so far from ours. i'm not even sure how to explain this. it's a possessive kind of thing. Kind of like how a part of me doesn't want alex to driving, driving's my thing... and like what happened with sex, (i've never said this before) all the talk about sex irritates me and ruins sex for me in a way. i liked being the only one who had done it, it was like my own little secret in a sense.
I'm trying my best to keep the balance of seeing best friends and boyfriend. with work tied in there it's hard, give me a break.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
the end
So blogspot
it's been a good run
it's been almost two years
and now it's time to move on
i made a tumblr...
so i won't be updating this anytime soon
BUT i'll have you know, my Tumblr blog name is also a Blink-182 lyric
it's been a good run
it's been almost two years
and now it's time to move on
i made a tumblr...
so i won't be updating this anytime soon
BUT i'll have you know, my Tumblr blog name is also a Blink-182 lyric
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
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